$35000 Lying in the Street

BMW, Range Rover, Mercedes, BMW, BMW, Range Rover....

What’s the most expensive thing in your house? The TV? A bicycle? Some jewelry? Baseball cards? Whatever it is, I’ll bet you wouldn’t put it out in the city street overnight and expect it to be there the next day….

So don’t you think it’s crazy that we buy (or lease) cars… Then park them on the street?

One San Francisco city block could have 12 cars worth an average of $25,000.

That’s like $300,000.

I’m just sayin.


Analog vs. Digital Clocks. Original is Better.

Time is telling.

So this has always been a pet peeve of mine. I’ve never liked them since the days of the Casio waterproof watch that made my wrist smell like rotten broccoli: Digital clocks.

Then I see this Audi commercial where the camera flies through this home saying “good night luxury, stuffy and outdated.” Panning across an old victorian home fit with chandeliers and overflowing cups of jewel-encrusted cufflinks…  Then the camera cuts to the new Audi, all of the lights go on and the futuristic robot mom countdown-to-1 voice starts staying “good morning illumination. Good morning innovation….” And what is in the middle of this out-with-the-old and in-with-the-new scene? Its an analog clock.

That’s a clock with hands. Tick tock.

After all that “technology driven,”  “illumination,” and “innovation”….you can’t design anything better than an analog clock. How awesome is that.

I don’t need to know EXACTLY what time it is. A general round number would suffice. Visually, it’s easier to pick up the cue from the position of the hands on the face of the clock than it is to read and discern what “value” is displayed on the clock. A digital face, an exact time….it’s just less comfortable to read.

I know there’s a need for digital watches and clocks for people who need to time things down to the second or millisecond. Those people are racing or scuba diving and are training, competing or working in an exact environment. They are taking the essence of time and working with it on a much smaller scale than most regular people do on a day to day basis.

It would be like the difference between a chef and a chemist. Both are working with chemical reactions, one is just much more precise about his measurements.

That’s just too much for most of us. Especially when it comes to time. I know what 15 minutes looks like. So when it’s 7 minutes to 7 pm, I don’t want to have to do any math to figure out what 15 minutes from now is on a digital clock. (Clue 1: after 59 you start at 1. whaaa?) . I want to be able to look at my watch and see when I need to start running instead of walking.

0 is the same in km/h and mp/h.

The same concept of the analog clock can be carried over as you look to your left at the speedometer. Digital speedometers kill me.  They might be worse and could possibly have spurned my scorn for digital clocks.

I don’t need to know if I am going 54…. 55….. 56….. 55…… 54….. 55….. 54….. then watching all the numbers flash into blinking 8’s, rapidly descending as I brake…..or is it going up because I accidentally hit the gas!?

No thank you. The dial is good enough for me here, too.

I am glad to see that Audi, who takes much pride in design, is able to feel like they can leave perfect alone.

Post: In this photo you’ll see the Ferry Building in SF amidst a lot of visual noise. Check out how easy it is to make out the time on the building. If that clock were digital, it would much less discernible and probably much more ugly.

Where does “guy” come from?

This Guy Fawkes is a pretty cool interpretation.

My friends, who love to call each other “guy” in a playfully taunting way should know where the word comes from.

I think the beauty of it has to do with the anonymity of the word. Even though you actually KNOW the person, relegating someone to a “guy” versus their name is stripping them of their identity and therefore authority.

Consider this example: “I went to see this guy give a speech the other day.”

“I went to see the President give a speech the other day.”

The context completely changes.

This makes “guy” a good tool to playfully (and sometimes hurtfully) dig into a friend. DON”T say it to a bartender if you really want a drink. DO say it to your friend who espouses the use of the DH in baseball…

Here’s where it comes from:

“fellow,” 1847, originally Amer.Eng.; earlier (1836) “grotesquely or poorly dressed person,” originally (1806) “effigy of Guy  Fawkes,”leader of the Gunpowder Plot to blow up British king and Parliament (Nov. 5, 1605), paraded through the streets by children on the anniversary of the conspiracy. The male proper name is from Fr., related to It. Guido,  lit. “leader,” of Gmc. origin (seeguide).

So it’s a Guido. Which couldn’t be more appropriate since we all hate Guidos. Guido is a GUY who has tried to make something happen but then completely bungles it. More than someone who doesn’t attempt to do something and achieves nothing, a GUY is someone who attempts something and really REALLY thinks it’s going to work but then FAILS. If you read the story of Guy Fawkes, (epic fail) then you’d know that a Guy or a Guido isn’t very intelligent, lacks originality and is a failure. Yes it comes from “Guide” which means leader. But it’s like the leader of the idiots.

Not to be confused with “Pachukers,” although the groups may overlap. Guys are people in charge of idiots, or are people who think their “way” is the right way, even though the rest of us would gladly burn their image in effigy if it was worthwhile…

A typical guy or guido:
– Anyone in charge of the “door” (not the doormen, their bosses)
– The driver of a vehicle too low or too high off the ground
– Anyone in the “Bad Boys” club
– Raider Fans
– Rollerbladers
– New Jersey and Long Island, of course
– Paintball soldiers
– Anything to do with a motorized watercraft

Don't DO it.

There’s more. I can certainly take them in your comments.

Kindle, do I really need to plug you in?


Battery Charge

The countdown is on....

You’re packing for your trip to Hawaii. You’re thinking, “All I need is my swimsuit, some shorts and some flip flops.” Right? or no?  You manage to get everything into a bag and you’re proud of yourself cuz it’s small. Then? then. Then you need to just grab your iPhone, laptop, camera (both of em), MP3 player and now….you’re Kindle.


It’s not that the Kindle isn’t a great tool all by itself. I have one and I love it. It’s clean and easy and kinda neat, you know? Need a book? Get it! it’s easy! There are other things like booksharing that could be better but hey it’s a pretty nice gadget and it was a great gift from The Girl.

The Kindle just happened to be that last item, that one that made me look at my bag packed for Hawaii with black and white tendrils hanging out of every empty side pocket and think “I hope the beach has a 220V.” Seriously, I am done with all the damn plugs..and all the things I need to plugin and charge and electrify. Constantly feeding the hungry little indicator bar. When does it end?

It doesn’t. It gets worse. Cuz see it used to just be your phone. And then you had maybe a car charger. But that was it. The only other things we recharged on this planet was the obscure battery and credit cards. Now? Everything.

It’s gotten to the point where I can’t grab that book I put down for two weeks and pick up again as I am running to the bathroom for some light reading. Try doing that with a Kindle, only to find that it’s not charged. Standing in the bedroom, unbuttoned pants in one hand, a dead Kindle in the other and a near future of reading the back of shampoo bottles.

Dead Kindle? That takes planning! plug it in ahead of time? What happened to convenience? You ever have your book run out of juice on you? Have you? It’s the weirdest thing. Of all things, books have been pretty user friendly. They haven’t changed much in about, oh, 3000 years. Now, in 2009, we’re expected to change all that. Plug it in!

Hey Moses! I just uploaded over some commandments to you. Be sure to put out an email blast to all your followers. What the burning bush doesn’t have a outlet? Preposterous! I guess you’ll have to wait for electricity to be invented to read my note. God, OUT!

I just want to know when I went from a pair of double AA’s for the Walkman into an Outlet Hunter when I go on vacation.

Have you changed your table to get a better shot at an plug in spot? Have you and waitress from Edmonton gotten down on your hands and knees at  an airport restaurant looking for an outlet: “I sa’wore I saw one here somew’ere…!”

Alas I can’t live without them for they are my electrically warm security blankets of information.

..Hey can I unplug this lamp? I need to charge my laptop now.

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