Simone = 1, Regrets = 0

Old apartment. New baby.

So I am now almost three months into having Simone as my child. It’s been pretty cool, I must admit. Can you tell?

I think there are moments that we have in life that are pivotal. Birth, marriage, children, and death. That’s basically it. So you hear about it and you talk about it and you even go through it. But it doesn’t hit you until it hits you. And one day a few weeks ago it hit me.

I was standing in my old apartment in SF when it happened.

I had rented it out with a friend for a few years. It was a beautiful very nice SF apartment with Golden Gate views and original hardwood floors. It sat at the top of the hill and was taller than any building around. The rooftop view was a 360-degree panorama of a typical San Francisco skyline. It had plenty of space and even yard access.

When it was time for me to move in with the future wife, I had to consider staying at that apartment or moving somewhere else. As it was, it was an awkward time…being comfortable living the bachelor life but knowing I was moving into a new stage life. As most guys won’t admit but probably felt, there can be excitement mixed with trepidation. Lots of trepidation.

On top of that was the fact that I wanted to keep the apartment that I was in. I was afraid I wasn’t going to get anything better. But the problem was getting my roommate out and my girlfriend in. Now we didn’t really want to get into a pissing match about it so we left it alone. I just moved out with the girlfriend to start anew. Of course, there was always a part of me that imagined living in this apartment with a family.

So there I was about a month ago, standing in that apartment, Simone is 2 months young. I think to myself “I could be living here with Simone and Shireen. This place would be great. blah blah.” But then I realized: if I had stayed at that apartment with Shireen, the chance of Simone being born has been completely obliterated.

Think about it: Had we stayed there our lives today would be different in slight ways. Maybe we would have had sex one day and not the next. The chance that it was boy or girl changed significantly. If it was a girl it would have been a different girl, and we may not have named her Simone….?

It made me think about alternate futures based on my actions or inactions. “What if I had gone to Cal instead of Davis?”: Different friends, different career path… “What if I had not worked at Oracle?”: Wouldn’t have met my future wife …. And that’s when it hit me.

I have no more regrets. Everything I have done up until this point in time has led me up to where I am today. And chance has given me the kid that I have. So therefore, I can’t regret or second guess anything I have ever done in my life up until that point in time.

If I had moved into that apartment, I wouldn’t have Simone. Not THIS Simone.

It was liberating. Kids are fucking cool.

Red Blinky Light for your Stroller

Fair warning crossing the street.

So Shireen and I have always marveled at how some parents push their strollers across the crosswalk with the intention of stopping traffic flow. I am no physicist but I don’t see a 10 lb baby and 15 lb stroller stopping any moving vehicle, SmartCars and scooters included. So why do these parents do this? It’s not a question I am going to try to answer here.

What it did lead us to consider is putting a light on the stroller for our night walks. Having a winter baby makes us walk her around at night. Especially if we have to wait until I get home from work. Our stroller and car seat, while very functional, cool and interchangeable don’t have any reflective material on it.

So the next time I went to the bike shop I picked up a standard red tail light for a bicycle.  It cost me less than ten dollars. Now pay attention fathers: I get home and attach this to the front of the car seat. It has a clip. I clipped it on the shade. That’s it. That’s all I did.

Now check this out: I turn on the blinky red light with the lights off….and then, from the wife, “Omigod, I LOVE it! It’s great! It’s perfect! You’re so SMaaaaaart!……” a pause and then “You know what? Everyone is gonna want one. Watch.”

Stick your nose out you better use it.

Now I am thinking like I had just invented the color red or something. It was like I had completely changed the baby’s night time availability altogether. Now maybe the fact that we have a baby outside after dark is a subject we need to address in and of itself at a later date, but let’s work with the given we have here. It’s 5:30 pm in the darkest time of the year. Cut me some slack.

So we leave. We go outside. We push the stroller through the park and through a couple crosswalks. The baby doesn’t get hit. If that’s a function of the light I’ll never know. As it stands though, my ingenuous safety precaution is working at 100% efficiency.

Crusin the street at night, yo.

The first people we encounter who are not in cars, are, I kid you not, parents of a newborn being pushed in a stroller. At night. With no light. As we cross the street, my wife says out of the corner of her mouth “watch this.” As she says this, the mother whose intersection we are approaching, spies our carriage and it’s rudolph nose. She says to her husband, who is blithely aiming his child for the street crosswalk, “honey…HONEY! Did you see that? They have a light!” He half-heartedly looks and continues walking as she runs to catch up with him undoubtedly thinking about her next Google search of “baby stroller lights” or “car seat night light.”

We push on, completely full of ourselves. Shireen was right! It WAS a great idea! Let’s shape some like a turtle and make millions! Of course, not completely satisfied with our focus group of over-protective first moms with deer-in-the-headlight dads, I was hoping to get validation from a different data set.

We were now walking home from Safeway, crossing Lombard near our apartment when I saw another couple approaching. Both kind of swaying from the evening’s happy hour, the guy was ahead of the girl looking back at her and talking when she stops, looks and points.

“omigoddidjaseethat?”

Shireen and I keep moving forward. We pass the guy who just catches a glimpse of the front of the seat. And he exclaims back to the girl “check it out they gotta LIGHT!”

BAM. We even impressed the alcohol saturated, hormonally liberated, young couple. Maybe we even got them thinking about making a baby… Or maybe they already did that.

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